Stepping Back and The Clean Plate Club

In karate class, one of the first things we teach brandy new white belts is to Step Back.

You’d think that was obvious, even common-sense-ical:  if someone is coming at you, what do you do? Get out of the way - Duh! (Said in my best Napoleon Dynamite voice).

What we are actually trying to teach them is to get a good look at the situation, and be in a stable place to take the action you choose to take in response to the attack.  (Of course, you need to do this in approximately 2 seconds – not a problem, right? )

This concept is one of the hardest for them to learn.  I’ve tried restating it in different ways, making them repeat it over and over again like a bunch of gi-wearing parrots, and beating them with a pink pool noodle.  As soon as you add in anything more to the drill, the whole “Get out of Dodge” of it all is the first to go.  Big John is the only one that can get them to move; I guess when the fist is the size of your face, your instincts take over.

Stay with me here, I'll connect it in a moment.

Many of us are about to celebrate Thanksgiving – a time set aside to remember, and to be grateful for all of our Blessings.  Norman Rockwell painted us a beautiful rendition of what Thanksgiving looks like: plenty of wholesome homemade food, angelic children,  adults with a twinkle in their eye, sunshine, rainbows, unicorns…etc.

What it really ends up looking like is a large group of people crowding into a tight space eating too much food, and sometimes drinking too many delicious beverages.  Add to that Football and apple pie, and tell me: why do we expect it to just go well?   Why are we surprised that we get slammed by the "Holiday" of it all if we just stand there, and let it hit us?

If you are blessed with any family other than mine (HI GUYS) then there just may be a reason you don’t see these people more often.  Blood alone is not enough to give you something in common to talk about, and self-imposed drama makes me want to bathe in hand sanitizer.   People may have a different opinion than you, and, horror of horrors, may actually voice it.  Rising sugar levels in our blood stream, followed by the inevitable crash, and sleep-inducing Turkey would make anyone turn into a cranky toddler – and I’m usually the first to my blankie.

Just because you are invited to a situation, does not mean you have to engage.   Sometimes the wiser choice is to take a step back, take a look at it from a different perspective, before deciding what action to take.  If crazy Uncle Norman truly believes that we should all stock up our Bunkers in anticipation of the end of the world, do you really think you’re going to convince him he’s wrong in the time between the turkey and dessert?    How about taking a step back, and asking him what supplies does he feel you should start with?  Or even better, take him out for a cup of coffee several times during the year, and listen.  Just because David farts and then giggles (and yes, he is an adult) why do you have to stand there and smell it?  How about trying to find common ground, and sharing stories that can be handed down (did you hear the one about Uncle Norman and the Bunker?) like our grandparents did for us?  Let's Step Back, and see what makes us Family, what connections we can make, or repair, what Blessings we can add for next year.

As for a different type of Stepping Back: I was brought up a card bearing member of the “Clean your plate” club.  In fact, we had to repeat a poem from my Grandfather’s Primary Reader, if we didn’t want to finish something on our plate:

You must not throw upon the floor the crust you cannot eat

For many a little hungry ones would think it quite a treat.

Your parents labor hard, to give you wholesome food

And you must never waste a bit that would do others goooood. (rhymes with “food”)

For willful waste makes woeful want and you might live to say:
“How I wish I had the Lima beans/squash/mushrooms  (GROSS) that once I threw away”.

And then we still had to finish it.

 

We can apply our theory with this too:  perhaps we need to Step Back from our plate.  Just because we are invited to have mashed potatoes, and gravy, and roasted potatoes, and stuffing, and squash, and bean casserole, and dinner rolls, and pumpkin pie, and apple pie, and ginger bread, and cranberry sauce, and oh yes some Turkey, does not mean we have to say yes to it all - or to seconds.  Sometimes it’s better to take a step back, choose those special dishes you really love that you don’t get any other time, and fully and blissfully enjoy those.

So what am I Treasuring this week?  My fabulous wonderful family, that grew larger by one and smaller by one this year.  Oh, and stepping back, looking for “common” and “helpful” and “funny” - while avoiding David's farts.

What am I Tossing? My membership to the Clean Plate Club.  And to appease my grandfather, the food will not be wasted – that’s why I have two dogs :-)

Happy Thanksgiving!