Treasure it or Toss it

Hi!  My name is Nancy, and I have no clue what I am doing.

The other day one of my Facebook friends posted something that made me pause:

                “Nothing ever goes away until

                          it teaches us what we need to know.”  - Pema Chadron

My first reaction was Sugar Honey Iced Tea! (That’s how I used to swear when my kids were little, they finally figured it out when they were teenagers LOL).   Is that why I don’t lose weight? Is that why I work for a crazy person and have a gawd-awful commute?  Is that why I’m stuck?

Tell me what I’m supposed to learn, and I’ll ACE it baby!

The good news is, when I toss a question out to the Universe, I usually get an answer.

The bad news also is, when I toss a question out to the Universe, I usually get an answer.  Ugh.

Clear as the “shouldn’t have when you’re 51” acne on my face I realized: I’m not learning the lesson.  I’m not doing the work.  I’m not even looking at the text book.

If I had a nickel for every “Self-Help” or “Lose weight and look awesome” or “Magic workout” or “Find your perfect career so you will love your life” book that I have bought, and Sometimes read, but did not do the work suggested, well I’d have at least $500.   It seems that somewhere in my brain, I think if I pay for the book, I don’t have to do the work.  Like some special form of Osmosis, I will have work that feels like play every day, a yoga body, and the emotional and spiritual grace to handle such wonderfulness – all for just one payment of $19.99.

Being a logical, mostly mathematically oriented person, I put two and two together and got oh damn.

Step 1 – Look at it.

I read an article this morning about someone who made herself wear everything in her closet for a whole day at work once before deciding to Toss it, or Treasure it.  She had some eye opening experiences: the classy expensive wool tweed shift really made her feel dowdy; a colorful blouse she’d had for years still looked fresh, and she felt good when she wore it; the distressed leather biker jacket had to go along with her 20’s and going out at 3 AM to see bands.  She would decide at the end of the day if the item supported who she really was and how she wanted to be seen, or not.  If it did, it stayed, if it did not, it was tossed (or sold, in her case – I guess she had some pretty awesome stuff).

It occurred to me (thanks to the metaphysical dope slap) that my closet is a metaphor for my life.  Just as I still have that fabulous patchwork and glitter vest from the 80’s in my closet, I have habits, beliefs, personality traits that may have served me well (emphasis on May Have) in my 20’s.  Do they still serve me, do they still fit me now?  When I “put them on”, is the person I see in the mirror someone I like and respect, the person I want the world to see?  Are there new things that I have not been able to get because I had no room for them?

For me it’s easy to just keep beliefs, habits, a “Plan” without really looking at them.  Anyone who knows me knows I fight change like a dog wrecks a pillow (story for another day): it may be old, it may be broken, it may do me more harm than good, but it’s MINE dammit.  Letting go is not something I’m good at.  But they all take up space that maybe could be better served for something new – or just more breathing space.  A mixture of background noise and clutter, they are there but not really there.  The energy spent “dusting” what no longer serves me could be better spent tending to what does.  Right?

When I read something that inspires me, I like to share it.  Often, it’s not a concept that I’ve accepted or accomplished, but one that I need to work on.  Somehow saying it “out loud” even virtually, makes it stick around a little longer, reminds me to look at it a little deeper, with the nagging knowledge that someone might show up on my Facebook doorstep and say: you know that theory you posted? How’s it going with that?

So I figured I’d drag you along, as I pick something, try it fully on, wear it for a time, and see how it fits.  I’d really like to hear your stories too, if you have any wisdom to share, or empathy, or if you need some of either.  Together we will figure out one by one what is Treasure, and what needs to be Tossed – and then maybe how to actually do that.